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Mei Wen

In Short – Volume 1, Issue 1 (Spring 2024)

May 31, 2024

Close up image of the skin of a red apple
Image credit: IgorLitvinzev

Peeling Apples

By Mei Wen

Whenever my husband and I visit, my mom hands us a bag of fruits to take home. Carabao mangoes in March, melons in May, and apples the rest of the year. Always, the fruits are ready for slicing. She never gives more than we can eat before they’re overripe.

In Chinese, because I am female, I was ge tsu ki, married off. By that logic, I am no longer my mom’s to care for. Nevertheless, she gives me kilos of fruit, just as her mom does for her. On occasion, some pieces are from my grandmother. I thank Mom profusely: when I receive the fruits and when my husband and I enjoy them throughout the week. I send her yum and heart emojis. Stickers and GIFs fill our chat.

This is progress. I’ve kept to myself as I felt powerless living with her—she searched my body and my things for proof that I was doing my best and embodying her version of perfect: clear skin, straight hair, high grades; she blasted my phone when she sensed I wasn’t where I said I’d be. Containing her grief, she couldn’t tell me Dad’s betrayal haunted her, that doing your best ensures you won’t blame yourself. I couldn’t tell her love doesn’t have to be earned; before I met my husband, I was used to working for it.

Today, apples are the only fruits left in our fridge. Although the skin has fiber and vitamins, I peel it like my mom does, even on her lazy days and after our fights. I thought this gesture was selfless. But the scent of apples tells me otherwise. There’s pleasure in spinning an apple into the blade, while mindful of one’s fingers, to peel a long swirl of skin before slicing the flesh.

Mei Wen (she/her) is a Chinese Filipino writer who explores her relationship with herself, her family, and nature through essays. Her works have appeared or are forthcoming in The Tiger Moth Review, diaCRITICS, Spellbinder, The Lumiere Review, Anak Sastra, The Ekphrastic Review, After the Art, and 11 x 9: Collaborative Poetry from the Philippines and Singapore, among others. She enjoys embroidery and watching cat reels. Born and raised in the Philippines, she now lives in Switzerland. Mei Wen is a pseudonym. Instagram: @houseblessing_ Website: https://bit.ly/StephanieMei